See the ring? That means not yours!

I need to get this out of my system before I start believing it might be happening.

If you meet someone (one you really like, all that jazz), and they have a ring on their finger, DON'T FUCK WITH IT. Unless they throw themselves on you, tells you their marriage is crap, and they wants out desparately, DON'T FUCK WITH IT. Just be their friend. Who knows, maybe they'll decide they like you better. Go you. The other person clearly didn't give them what they need, right? But go in there with the intention of trying to take them from someone else, and you deserve to have your genitals (I don't care whether they're inside or outside) stomped on with track spikes. Rusty ones. The kind meant for dirt tracks, not the new rubber stuff.

I think we can all agree on this.